My Mom Sized Dreams
First off let me say, when I planned on writing this blog I never knew where it was going to end up going. I had come up with the name "Mom Sized Dreams" well because I am a Mom who loves to cook, clean, craft, volunteer at my childrens school etc. I have everyday dreams as a Mother and that was what I was going to write about. Everyday life of my "Mom Sized Dreams." Then April 24, 2015 happened. I had been sitting with my husband and our oldest son in his Behavioral development Pediatric appointment. See we have had this appointment for months, after years of problems at school and countless appointments to figure out what was going on with him. I am sitting there nervous, answering questions, and listening to these two Doctors as our Son is over in the corner playing with toys. Our sons name is Reece and he will be 8 in August and is in the 2nd grade. He was diagnosed with ADHD and eczema when he was 5 and in Kindergarten. Not only was it hard for him to focus, but he also always itched himself. He was always treated poorly at school, especially in the 1st grade. It was so bad that we had to change schools this year. As a Mother I always knew in the back of my mind, you know that Motherly intuition, that there was something else going on. We had tried a couple medications, which was hard for me because often times I would rather go the holistic route. However I knew my Son needed something more. We had met with so many counselors and Doctors. I finally put my foot down and said I wanted to see a specialist. I wanted someone besides the school and a Pediatrician to diagnose him. My husband and I wanted proper testing. It took him getting sick on Aderal for them to finally say "well I think something more is going on here." Thats where the referral FINALLY came in and we were able to get the appointment we needed. So back to sitting in the Doctors office, after a couple hours of questions, exams, and just poking around at our son, the two Doctors left and said they would be back in a few minutes. It was seriously the longest 20 minutes of our lives. I took Reece out to look at the fish in the waiting room because he gets so antsy. When they came back in the room my heart sunk because this was it! The diagnosis we were waiting on since he was 4. My heart was pounding and my palms sweaty. When they were talking all I could do was look at my Son. Not realizing our lives were completely about to change. He started explaining that Reece not only had ADHD but Aspergers and a learning disability. Not only that, but his eczema was not eczema. He itches himself because of his sensory needs along with the Aspergers. At this moment I felt so many things. I was relieved because for the first time in almost 4 years we had a proper diagnosis and I knew now we could get our child the help he needs. At the same time I was angry! So angry that his prior Doctors and teachers who are trained professionals just brushed of our Son or stuck him in the principals office because the didn't want to deal with him. I was sad and still am today because I dont know what the future holds for Reece. I dont know how he will cope as a teenager and Adult. There are so many unknowns to this. Sure I have heard of Aspergers, I have read the definition of what it is. But really I have no clue at all. That night after everyone went to bed I just cried. I was so overwhelmed earlier by everything thrown at me and I have 3 other children, I put on a smile and sucked it up. Thats what we do as Moms, sometimes we just have to suck it up and sacrifice that pain for happiness and move on with our day for the kids sake. I will say I bawled my little eyes out. It felt good to just let it all out! Then the Mom shaming came. I began to get very angry with myself for how frustrated I had become with Reece over the years not knowing that he has Aspergers. Not knowing that he couldn't control his emotions and a lot of times he didn't know he was doing anything wrong. My Son Reece has given me the courage to write this blog. I am not a writer, I am a Mom. I dont have my degree and I dropped out of beauty school. I'm sure some of my punctuation and grammar are off. But thats not why I am here. I am here to spread awareness and hope for other Mothers out there, how important it is to be an advocate for your child/children. To never give up and if you have that "Motherly Intuition" ALWAYS listen to it. This is where I am today April 27, 2015. My kids went back to school after a month off for Spring break(year round schedule.) I have decided today that no matter what happens I will always remain positive. I mean I have to. I have 4 kids who look up to me and a loving husband, they all need me. We will be starting treatments for Reece and he will get an IEP aide at school. The process is rolling! This is my story and how my simple "Mom Sized Dreams" went from DIY projects and cooking recipes to now having a child with Aspergers, ADHD and a learning disability. I would love for you all to join our journey and the dreams I have for all 4 of my children. Thank you for listening and I promise I will learn how to use this Blog soon. Until then, just one day at a time..........
